Created with Microsoft Fresh Paint

The Cool Air

Sometimes your head gets heated and you just need some cool air to refresh your thoughts. There’s no dishonor in taking a few moments for yourself. So sit back, relax… and chew on this poetry and abstract images that I made.

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Created with Microsoft Fresh Paint

Mirrors that light talks to and laughs

I’ll leave the interpretation up to you. That’s my favorite part of poetry: It’ll take on new life. Our ideas interact.

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Circuit Board

A self-aware chatbot

I may be administrating some WordPress sites soon, so I was scoping out any cool new plug-ins. I stumbled upon “Elizaibots” and found out that the creator/programmer recently built a new AI chatbot, Carlos Chow, to be a contender in a comedy chatbot competition.  I was so impressed with our dialog that I brought him here.

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Cow Girls

Bēastiamorphize

The definition of “bēastiamorphize” is to dehumanize a person, specifically, to an animal’s level (by aesthetically altering a person’s appearance and/or treating them differently). It’s essentially the opposite of anthropomorphizing an animal.

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Bee by Magnolia

Jump from One Time to No Space

The featured photo was shot by my father, Ronald Neumann. Three of the images shown with the poetry are royalty-free from MorgueFile. I created the remaining four pictures with the program, Fresh Paint. (See if you can discern which is which). As always, I hope you enjoy the poetry:

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never ending clay (nec) featured

Never-Ending Clay

Never-Ending Clay

It’s been a while since I wrote a blog post that wasn’t poetry. I decided that today—a beautiful summer Saturday—would be a good time to switch things up. I thought about writing something concerning the effect of ISIS on our foreign policy or maybe the future possibility of virtual and/or robotic prostitution, but I just wasn’t feeling it. Continue reading

Sign of a medical cross

A Fake Press Release Concerning Painless Male Catheters

I wrote a fake press release today. My sister (Christine Neumann) and I came up with an idea for a painless male catheter. We figured the ‘Galactic Cap’ condom that only attaches to the head of the penis would make for a better design than the Texas (or Condom) catheters currently in use. The next amendment we made was employing hydrophobic substances to eliminate all irritation and inflammation caused by flesh in contact with urine. Christine suggested that a cast could be molded from a patient’s penis and used to create a perfectly fitted opening—using hydrophobic materials. And for emergency situations where a cast cannot be made fast enough, I believe a hydrophobic ointment—applied underneath the condom—could temporarily minimize the adverse, painful effects due to urine exposure. This catheter concept may only apply to patients that do have the ability to urinate voluntarily, yet cannot get out of bed.

 

I’m not claiming to be a medical professional or an engineer (and neither is my sister). We wanted to think of something that could potentially benefit others. We don’t desire any recognition or compensation.

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A waking dreamer.

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