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A Fake Press Release Concerning Painless Male Catheters

I wrote a fake press release today. My sister (Christine Neumann) and I came up with an idea for a painless male catheter. We figured the ‘Galactic Cap’ condom that only attaches to the head of the penis would make for a better design than the Texas (or Condom) catheters currently in use. The next amendment we made was employing hydrophobic substances to eliminate all irritation and inflammation caused by flesh in contact with urine. Christine suggested that a cast could be molded from a patient’s penis and used to create a perfectly fitted opening—using hydrophobic materials. And for emergency situations where a cast cannot be made fast enough, I believe a hydrophobic ointment—applied underneath the condom—could temporarily minimize the adverse, painful effects due to urine exposure. This catheter concept may only apply to patients that do have the ability to urinate voluntarily, yet cannot get out of bed.


I’m not claiming to be a medical professional or an engineer (and neither is my sister). We wanted to think of something that could potentially benefit others. We don’t desire any recognition or compensation.

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